{"id":72,"date":"2007-09-08T04:59:38","date_gmt":"2007-09-08T12:59:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/wordpress\/?p=72"},"modified":"2007-09-15T06:55:03","modified_gmt":"2007-09-15T14:55:03","slug":"who-wants-to-be-a-necromancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/?p=72","title":{"rendered":"Who Wants to be a Necromancer?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In this televised competition (DFC &#8211; Dark Fantasy Channel) five contestants have been chosen. Each of them wants to be declared a &#8220;Lord of the Dead.&#8221; Each week, one will be eliminated until one of them earns the title.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li> Bill of the Dead &#8211; Started his carrier as a zombie wizard by winning the annual South Ferry brain-eating-contest. He has also guest starred on Zombie Iron Chef. He was criticized for lack of exotic ingredients in his dishes.\n<li> Brain Hellda &#8211; Raised and commanded a legion of undead Sumo wrestlers. Was able to demolish that same building in Japan that got demolished in every one of those old Japanese monster movies.\n<li> Gerard Weird &#8211; Created a great undead parade, supposedly through the use of potions and chemicals.\n<li> Petricia Cemetary &#8211; Created the most powerful army of undead guinea pigs ever known in all the Seven Lands. Unfortunately, it was stopped in its first campaign by a pile of wilted celery.\n<li> Morgue-Ann &#8211; Captain of the all-undead quidditch team. Alas, last season they did not have a ghost of a chance against Hogwarts.\n<\/ol>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share this:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-72\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon\" href=\"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/?p=72&amp;share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Twitter\" ><span>Twitter<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-facebook\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-facebook-72\" class=\"share-facebook sd-button share-icon\" href=\"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/?p=72&amp;share=facebook\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Facebook\" ><span>Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this televised competition (DFC &#8211; Dark Fantasy Channel) five contestants have been chosen. Each of them wants to be declared a &#8220;Lord of the Dead.&#8221; Each week, one will be eliminated until one of them earns the title. Bill &hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/?p=72\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share this:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-twitter-72\" class=\"share-twitter sd-button share-icon\" href=\"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/?p=72&amp;share=twitter\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Twitter\" ><span>Twitter<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-facebook\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"sharing-facebook-72\" class=\"share-facebook sd-button share-icon\" href=\"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/?p=72&amp;share=facebook\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to share on Facebook\" ><span>Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[15,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-72","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-necro-contest"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pgWoS-1a","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=72"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=72"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=72"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/stevenrbrandt.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=72"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}