These transformers are a little slower than the ones in the movies: 
http://xkcd.com/1336/
Category: Humor
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Transformers
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Robot Parents
Those of you who know me, know that I’m a fan of the theory that robots are going to take all the jobs away. One job I never really thought that robots would take would be parenting. The human touch is important, and so on. But parenting isn’t just one job. One part of it, possibly the hardest part, is disciplining. What makes it tough is that many children (and some adults) enjoy seeing other people become angry. The only way to be effective as a disciplinarian is to show no emotion and be absolutely consistent. Noah has been making this clear to me, and I’ve become pretty good at the robot face. Hmm.
Okay, robots are consistent and emotionless. What about the punishment? How would they carry it out? Should robots be equipped with Star Trek style agonizers? No. Most kids in the modern world care only about one thing, getting to play computer games. Robots could completely control our access to this form of entertainment, and only enable our accounts if the children behave. Robots can take over helping children with their homework, making sure they make their beds, etc. The human parents can step in to give good night kisses and hugs. In short, we can all become grandparents.
I, for one, fully support our new robot overlords, err, parents.
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The Indians Who Don’t Exist
Recently I was on a campout with the Cub scouts. Many of the boys were worried that there were Indians in the forest.
Naturally, like a good parent, I explained that (a) that the camp grounds are owned by the Boy Scouts and there are no “Indians” living there, and (b) the proper term is “Native American” since the people in question don’t come from India.
After that, I heard the boys talking about “The Indians that Don’t Exist.” Several of them claimed to have seen them, and one or two claimed that large fire ant mounds were actually poop left by “The Indians that Don’t Exist.”
Sometimes, explanations are less effective than you expect. 🙂
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I win the conversation
The Dilbert comic has a recurring character named “Topper” that has to top any statement anyone else makes. Recently I had a chance to play at being “Topper.” I was in a yogurt stand with a bunch of friends and someone was complaining about how hard it was to get the top off a water bottle. He commented that someone had to actually design this, approve it, and finally it had to get made all with this same idiotic design.
I said I could top that. I knew a woman who had a stay in a mental facility. On the floor she was on, there was no woman’s shower and so she asked if she could be allowed to the next floor down so she could bathe. She was told, “no”, and given a rubber sheet the size of a shower door with “Woman in Shower” emblazoned across the front. She was told to take that into the men’s room, cover the door, and shower there. Let me reiterate that it was the men’s room on floor for mental patients.
Needless to say, she didn’t take a shower during her stay. But imagine. Someone had to design this, other people had to approve it, then others manufacture it, picking out colors and font and so on. And no one stopped the process and said, “This is utterly absurd.” Obviously, this tops the water cap example.
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Secret Worlds and the Belly of Quetzacoatl
Fantasy has several different classifications:- Contemporary Fantasy: Fantasy that takes place in the modern world, sometimes called Urban Fantasy.
- Second World Fantasy: There’s a whole different earth-like magical world out there. Think Tolkien.
- Portal Fantasy: This world and some second world are connected, and stories bridge worlds. Think Potter or Narnia.
The last category, Portal Fantasy, is based on the idea that there’s a secret world, a magical way to get from this one to another that is hidden or only available to rare people. This morning I read about the Hamza, a river that flows 13,000 feet below the Amazon. It flows at a slower pace than the river above–and perhaps time flows at a slower pace in those depths as well. Perhaps the water is still tainted with the blood of ancient sacrifices; the vital essence of men and women whose veins were opened to appease an ancient feathered serpent god. Perhaps that river is really the twisting belly of the ancient animal itself and our scientific drilling will cause it to awaken, hungry, irritated, and eager for a contract with the Sci Fi channel.
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Beer in Utah
I was not expecting much in the way of beer during my stay in Utah. But I tasted one really good beer. What really made the experience was the label was the label “Polygamy Porter.” The slogan is “Why have just one?” It’s good that the people of Utah have a sense of humor about themselves. -
Fictional Romance Novel
One thing I sometimes like to do is make up a silly fictional romance title. “The Pirate Captain’s Sweet Hostage,” or “The Millionaire Cowboy’s Secret Baby.” What can you come up with?
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Sexception: Sometimes There is No Right Answer
There’s this rather dangerous game that couples like to play called “sexception.” Each of you identifies one person they’re allowed to cheat with should the opportunity arise. When my wife asked who my sexception would be I smelled danger. (more…)
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My Inner Sheldon
A recent “Big Bang Theory” episode featured famed physicist Sheldon Cooper creating a wacky three player game of chess.
While my family has compared me to Sheldon before, this is one of the few real examples where the comparison worked. I have a 3 player chess game (hexagonal grid instead of square grid) sitting on my desk at work. It is not nearly as wacky as Sheldon’s, however I invented another chess variant (2 player) which was. The concept was a collectable trading card game based on chess. Cards would give pieces new powers.
The Siege Rook: It could move up to 8 squares without capturing, or capture a piece up to four squares away without moving.
The Lady-Killer Pawn could move up to 8 squares if it was capturing a queen.
The Samuraii Pawn: When it captures it detonates and takes out all the pieces in the adjacent squares.
The Archbiship: Like a bishop, but he imparts the ability to move as a bishop to any friendly piece he could move to.
And so on. Hopefully I will find the time to make this a real game available on http://thegamecrafter.com, a Print On Design (POD) game maker.
