Category Archives: Humor

I Must Have this T-Shirt!

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Congregation for the Extirpation of Paranormal Menaces (CEPM)

The best sort of April Fool’s story is one that starts out plausible but weird, then gets progressively stranger until you realize it’s funny and laugh. If the reader passes the story on, believing it to be real, then the … Continue reading

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Word of Honor

I’m a character in a novel, I give you my word of honor. Literally. Nelson DeMille used my name in his book. Of course, I’m neither a medic nor have I been to Vietnam.

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Universal Zombie Care

I predict that zombie repairs will prove to be the fatal flaw in Obama’s universal health care plan. In no time there will be a massive shortage of fresh gooey brains.

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Me as an Early Human

This is what I would look like as an early human–according to an exhibit at the Smithsonian.

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Neanderthal Romances

My theory is that this could be the beginning of a whole new line of offbeat romance novels: http://www.genomeweb.com/node/940177?hq_e=el&hq_m=708634&hq_l=1&hq_v=4cb508f503. Imagine the book jacket, “Where can a modern girl of the 50th century BC find a real Caveman, Jill asked herself…”

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Klingon Campfire Songs

Translated from the original Klingon, of course. To the tune of: On Top of Spaghetti On top of a blood pie, All covered with rokeg, I lost my poor targball, When somebody snorted. It rolled off the table, And on … Continue reading

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Thursday 13: Things I learned from reading Sci-Fi

McNugget’s will some day be all-natural health food, relatively speaking (Caves of Steel, Asimov). Apparently our diet will consist largely of yeast grown in vats. My cockroach problems really aren’t so bad (Starship Troopers, Heinlein). Mr. Rico has to face … Continue reading

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Wedding Dress Pun-ishment

Katrina Chalifoux of Rockford, Ill. won a contest sponsored by Ripley’s for the best wedding dress made of folded toilet paper. See the ladies below, posing, smiling, flush with pride! Katrina’s dress was just charmin’. I hope she keeps up … Continue reading

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The New Jabbakins Diet

Go from this…. …to this in just six weeks! Unfortunately, these are the only things you can eat.

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