Who Wants to be a Necromancer? Episode III

Our contests were sitting in the wizard cave, slurping down some spicy toad stew when the great crystal ball sprang to life. The ghostly image of Stee Mer materialized in its depths to give contestants their second challenge: summon the spirit of Elvis Presley and get him to sing, “Can’t help falling in love.”

Bill of the Dead whipped up deep two fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. He ritually sacrificed one on the back of a Ouija board and Elvis came running like a hound dog. Then he promptly sang the song in order to get the second.

Brain Helda gave one of her sumo wrestlers a shape-changing potion, making him appear to be Elvis. As the fake Elvis stomped into Stee Mer’s California office to perform, the ground quaked and everything became all shook up. When Stee Mer heard the impersonator sing with a Japanese accent, he angrily returned the zombie to its sender.

Patricia Cemetery managed to summon a pair of blue suede shoes — they walked into the office on their own. A very high and squeaky voice that seemed to come from the shoes themselves sang the requested song. Stee Mer was unimpressed until he learned that the shoes were actually being haunted by ghosts of Elvis’ famous guinea pigs: Lawdy and Clawdy.

Morgue Ann, at a loss as to how to perform the requested spell, summoned the Devil and made a pact with him to help her win the contest. The Devil promptly donned an Elvis disguise and did a very convincing performance.

Finally, we came to the elimination, Stee Mer’s favorite part of the show. He announced that Brain Helda’s performance was the least evil and fired his purple lightning at her with glee. Her undead sumo wrestlers took vengeance for her, however, and pounded him until he begged them, don’t be cruel.

This entry was posted in Humor, necro contest. Bookmark the permalink.