The final two contestants sat nervously in the cave, awaiting the appearance of Stee Mer in the crystal ball. Finally, in a luminous swirl of green and blue he appeared. “Hello, true deceivers,” he said. “Today’s challenge is to create a feast fit for a necromancer.”
Patricia Cemetery served green eggs and ham. She commented that after doing some reading it pretty much came together. Stee Mer asked if that didn’t come from a kid’s story and she replyed, “Yes, but the author is dead.”
Morgue Ann served waffles with some weird raised symbols on them. “I made a mold from a gravestone I found,” she explained.
“Fools!” bellowed a voice. “Pretenders! Charlatans!” The skull of Bill of the Dead levitated into the room, red eyes flaring. “Behold the creation of a true master…”
“First, a salad. Red cabbage and bloody celery.” A zombie walked in holding a large bowl.
Patricia Cemetery asked, “What makes the celery red?”
“It’s dyed,” came the reply.
“So you’re just copying my idea. I dyed my eggs and ham green.”
“Silence fool!” Bill yelled.
Next a skeleton walked in bearing a tray. “Thrice killed trout,” Bill said.
“How do you kill it three times?” Stee Mer asked.
“By raising it from the dead and killing it again. I find it gives it a certain something extra.”
A hooded figure glided in pushing a dessert cart. “And finally,” Bill boomed, “a chocolate cake. There is a pit of frosting in the center in which I have buried a rock-candy skeleton. You use little spoons shaped like shovels to dig it out. I also garnished the whole thing with little Count Chocula marshmellows.”
“Yummy,” Patricia commented.
“Yes, very nice,” Stee Mer said. “But I kicked you off the show last week. None of this matters.”
“Ah, but I made a second dessert. Undead blackbird pie.” Several hooded figures wheeled in a huge pie. One of them lifted a scythe and cut the top. A host of screeching birds flew out, half skeletal, belching forth green lightning and fire, chasing away the other contestants and Stee Mer.
“You know,” Bill said. “If I were a good boy I’d eat all my food. But I think I’ll stick with just desserts.” After a hearty villain laugh he comments, “You get it? ‘Just desserts?'”
“Yes, very funny boss,” the trout answers.