Who Wants to be a Necromancer? Episode II

The first challenge to our contestants was to raise a zombie chicken.

Bill of the dead raised a headless, featherless bird covered in a mint-almond sauce. Clearly his chef talents were showing. It proceeded to run around and stuff bread crumbs into its open throat.

Brain Helda raised the skeleton of a pre-historic chicken. The ground shook as the 14 foot high undead animal trotted forth. When it screeched out its zombie clucks, even the cats hid in terror..

Gerard, always the over-achiever, raised four chickens and trained them to cluck out “In the Mood” in four part harmony.

Patricia Cemetery raised a rather small chicken, which turned out to be an undead guinea pig that had been tarred and feathered.

Morgue Ann animated a chicken that had died before it hatched. It stuck out its small wings and flew around. She decided to paint the remainder of the egg shell gold, and call the thing a snitch. Brain Helda’s creation ate it, snatching it out of the air in its giant bony beak.

The judge, famed necromancer trainer Stee Mer, after telling everyone that eliminations were his favorite part of this process, said that a good necromancer is never a show-off and shot purple lightning at Gerard, blasting him to oblivion. His undead creations rallied, however, and sent Stee running and screaming as they pecked at him and began clucking out the Ride of the Valkyries.

Preview of next week: Patricia Cemetery crying and saying, “I just don’t think my undead guinea pigs can do something like that!”

This entry was posted in Humor, necro contest. Bookmark the permalink.